SATIRDAY SPORTS
SATIRDAY SPORTS
  • Home
  • About Us, (Shamelessly)
  • Bench Warmers
  • Not News
    • The Weekly Leake
    • Satirday Morn Chubb Reprt
    • Mascot Mugshot
    • Fantasy Fantasy League
    • P-Ray’s Hail Mary’s
  • Testimonials
  • Submit a Tip
  • Legal
  • More
    • Home
    • About Us, (Shamelessly)
    • Bench Warmers
    • Not News
      • The Weekly Leake
      • Satirday Morn Chubb Reprt
      • Mascot Mugshot
      • Fantasy Fantasy League
      • P-Ray’s Hail Mary’s
    • Testimonials
    • Submit a Tip
    • Legal
  • Home
  • About Us, (Shamelessly)
  • Bench Warmers
  • Not News
    • The Weekly Leake
    • Satirday Morn Chubb Reprt
    • Mascot Mugshot
    • Fantasy Fantasy League
    • P-Ray’s Hail Mary’s
  • Testimonials
  • Submit a Tip
  • Legal

🧑‍⚖️ Court-Ordered Endorsements

Testimonials so good, a judge made us print them.

We didn’t ask for these. They arrived anyway — scrawled on bar napkins, slipped under our office door, and in one case, faxed directly from a county jail. Some came stamped with official letterhead. Others smelled like nacho cheese. All of them are legally binding in the court of public opinion.

“Harder to unsubscribe from than Zyns.”

“The only sports site where I feel seen, judged, and slightly aroused.”

“More questionable than consent at a Diddy casting call.”

— Former Reader, Current Relapser

“More questionable than consent at a Diddy casting call.”

“The only sports site where I feel seen, judged, and slightly aroused.”

“More questionable than consent at a Diddy casting call.”

— Event Promoter With a Pocket Full of Plan B

“The only sports site where I feel seen, judged, and slightly aroused.”

“The only sports site where I feel seen, judged, and slightly aroused.”

“The only sports site where I feel seen, judged, and slightly aroused.”

— Former youth pastor

“Still more credible than Skip Bayless.”

“This can’t be real. There’s no way you did this.”

“The only sports site where I feel seen, judged, and slightly aroused.”

— Sports Fan, Against Their Better Judgment

“Satirday Sports ruined my marriage. Five stars.”

“This can’t be real. There’s no way you did this.”

“This can’t be real. There’s no way you did this.”

— @HurtLockerRoom

“This can’t be real. There’s no way you did this.”

“This can’t be real. There’s no way you did this.”

“This can’t be real. There’s no way you did this.”

— Kurt Utich, Co-Commissioner (but only in title)

99 Bottles Fantasy Football League

“Our son said he wrote for this site. We’re extremely sorry.”

“Our son said he wrote for this site. We’re extremely sorry.”

“Our son said he wrote for this site. We’re extremely sorry.”

— Mr. & Mrs. McDiggins

“As unfiltered as Aaron Rodgers on ayahuasca.”

“Our son said he wrote for this site. We’re extremely sorry.”

“Our son said he wrote for this site. We’re extremely sorry.”

— Shaman in Jets Hoodie

“These endorsements are the sole opinions of the extremely credible voices quoted above. Satirday Sports takes no responsibility for broken marriages, ruined reputations, or fantasy league losses incurred while reading our content.”

Copyright © 2025 Satirday Sports - All Rights Reserved.

Powered by

🍪 We Use Cookies (& Bad Judgment)

We track traffic, enable embeds, and tell advertisers we matter. By clicking “I Consent to the Degeneracy,” you agree your data may end up in a cursed parlay.

I suck[ I Consent to the Degeneracy ]