Undrafted. Unsigned. Unhinged.

Chaos Executive Officer & Editor in Grief

Founder. Faker. Flagged for excessive satire.

Once voted “Most Likely to Call a Timeout During a DUI Test,” Tug McDiggins is the cracked chalice behind Satirday Sports. 

A failed DII pitcher with a busted elbow and even worse judgment, Tug built this empire of athletic delusion to avoid therapy and student loan repayments. 

He believes in free speech, unpaid interns, and that credibility is a performance-enhancing drug.

Tug edits with a hangover and publishes with impunity.

If it’s in print, it’s probably his fault.

Conflict of Interest Columnist

She writes what she shouldn’t. And leaks what she can’t.

Izzy’s sources are confidential, her motives questionable, and her blouse permanently one button too low for HR approval.

Her morals are looser than a “homecoming queen” after breaking a Guinness record nobody asked for. 

Her Rolodex includes ex-athletes, angry mascots, and at least three divorce lawyers.

Nobody knows what she did before Satirday Sports — and anyone who did mysteriously “declined to comment.”

It’s unclear on how she got the scoop. But your dad’s acting weird.

Tailgate Correspondent & Weekend Liability

Reporting live from Lot D, breathalyzer optional.

There are reporters who chase the story. Then there’s Blaise Chubb, who wakes up duct-taped to it.

He’s been greased, tased, and once had to be pressure-washed off a commemorative statue before the noon kickoff. His medical chart reads like a demolition permit.

Blaise covers sports from the lot, the lawn, and occasionally from inside a makeshift slip-n-slide built out of stolen tarps and light beer. 

He believes every stadium should come with a dunk tank, a breath mint, and an exorcist.

Longshot Prophet & Spiritual Advisor to the Spread

Preaching the gospel of +12000 since the Book of Hard Rock.

Once a televangelist, now a betvangelist, P-Ray was excommunicated from the Church of Reason after substituting communion wine with Four Loko “for the vibes.”

Since then, he’s preached a gospel with only three verses: the Over, the Under, and the Parlay. 

He blesses longshots, curses kickers, and delivers Hail Marys with the conviction of a man who’s seen the Over hit in overtime.

His sermons are banned in six states and four sportsbooks. But to his congregation of degenerates? He’s a miracle worker.